Seriously....More Shopping!

On Friday I took off to Melbourne for another big day of buying. This time it's to pick Winter 2013 stock. I've always found it fairly difficult to choose 6 months in advance but on one hand you at least know what customers wanted that you didn't have this winter. I also know what has sold out the quickest, so I know what to make sure I have loads of next time.

Next winter is going to be very different from this seasons colorways. There is loads of orange and purple, navy and green, florals and patchwork fabrics. I'm so excited about what I can bring to my little shop. Here's a sneak peak at what I'm looking at when I meet with my agents.....

Picking from the new range Fabrik was just delightful!

Baobab has some very funky designs

 

Mizzle basics



These gorgeous crotchet booties are part of the new Mizzle winter range and I just love them!

Four and a half hours of buying and I was exhausted. I'd hoped to get a bit of shopping in but since it was 4:30pm on a Friday afternoon and I knew I'd have to battle peak hour traffic back to the hotel in St Kilda, I decided to call it a day.

My bestie turned up at 7pm and we headed out to Mama Baba for dinner. I wasn't sure what to expect. I was ready to be disappointed since there was such a hype about George Calombaris's latest restaraunt venture and I'm not normally a fan of going to celebrity chef restaraunts.

I'm not foodie, I know nothing about wines and I couldn't care less who the chef is. But, I know what I like and don't like in a meal. There's no point in plating up a pretty dish if it's not going to fill me up and taste delicious.

Mama Baba is at the end of a little lane just off Chappel Street in South Yarra. You would never know it was there and it's totally unexpected in appearance.

 

The entrance.

We started at the bar and enjoyed a few drinks before we were seated at our table. If you don't like noise this is not the place for you. The music is loud and so are the customers. The seats are close together so expect to be able to hear all of your neighbouring tables conversations. Somehow this works well though and we had some great conversation with our neighbours.

Entree of beef carpaccio......oh yeah!

Scollop's and they were perfect

Tortellini Prawn saganaki, tomato & feta. It honestly tasted more like crab to me but it's definitely a dish I wouldn't normally order so maybe it just wasn't my taste.

Desert...... this was the Ferraro Roche and it tasted exactly like one! Oh this was heaven.

An Italian Mess. By this stage I was so over full I just couldn't fit it in. But my bestie demolished 3/4 of it!

All up I was definitely not disappointed by Mama Baba. Totally worth the 4 phone calls I made over two weeks trying to get a booking. And to Stacey on the reservations line....you are so lovely to deal with.

So that was day one of my freakin' weekend. Part two tomorrow as I'm buggered and it's time for some sleep.

Miss Emily

Emily is at both a gorgeous age and one that totally does my head in. How a two year old can have this much attitude at such a young age I have no idea! For the last week I've heard "my turn!" and "No, mine!" at least a thousand times.

And the drama! If you move something to the wrong place, or you try to help in any way, you'd think the world was ending. There's head down, face burried in her hands, thrashing about and screaming.

But tonight I just had to laugh. Emily has a couple of 'babies' that she has really taken to playing with lately. Every night while I'm cooking the dinner she lines them up, reads them a story, and then one by one changes their nappies. At first I had no idea what she was doing when I saw this.....

Apologies for the poor photo. Just after I tried to sneak this pic with the IPhone she totally cracked it at me for daring to take a picture of her!

Yes that's right, she has socks on her hands. But to her they're not socks, they're gloves and every time she changes her babies nappies she has them on. At childcare they read stories to the toddlers and change their nappies with gloves on. It seems Emily has created her own childcare center in our living room and it's complete with a naughty corner. While I was having a shower this morning I heard her telling one of the babies to "sit here!" and "Sshhhh!". I think she might have got that bit from me......

I'm totally loving her embrace of this new make believe world. It reminds me of when I was her age and everything was fun and a game. She has no idea of bad things in the world, of loss, of sadness. All she know is eat, sleep, play and love.

She is learning new words every day and mumbled sentences are starting to become clear. She now has friends at daycare who wave to her through the window when we arrive. A little red headed boy named Dean rushed over to us yesterday and said "Emawee ball!" and gave her a green ball. She was absolutely delighted and turned to me and said "bye", waved and ran off with him. It was totally adorable.

I know it won't be like this for long and I'm totally going to soak up every moment of it.

The End of a LOOOOOONG Week

Thank God this week is finally over.....except tomorrow is Monday.

I have just worked 7 days straight...again! Today I had the Little Me Markets and it was full on from the start.

My stall set-up

Gaia Organic Cotton

Skeanie & Walnut Melbourne Shoes

Natural Blossoms Skincare

Squiggle Pop

Lots of little things for little ones

Now I'm home and relaxing in front of The Voice with a lovely stir fry. Emily is sleeping soundly and I'm really looking forward to slowing down the pace in the next couple of weeks and having some completely normal housebound weekends with my baby. 

As time goes by....

This week has gone so quickly and it's getting more and more stressful the closer we get to our trip. Hubby is complaining that we haven't saved enough money, I'm complaining that he's not showing enough admiration or support since I'm been working like a dog to make some money to put towards the trip, Emily isn't sleeping properly and is cutting her eye teeth, and all the while time is ticking by.

Today was my day off but the whole day was filled with work. I managed to get a hair appointment in early this morning but I didn't even have time for my hairdresser to dry me off before rushing out the door to pick up Emily from Mum and Dads as they had an appointment to go to. After that I made two dresses and a pair of pants for the Saturday Night Market at Beechworth.

My Nana taught me to cook as a way of keeping me out of trouble since I was such a busy little girl. She looked out for me years ago and today using her old crock pot to make spaghetti bolognaise for dinner tonight I felt like she was still looking out for me. Thanks God she left that old crock pot to me along with several other cooking utensils. At 6pm when Emily was having a meltdown and hubby came in looking for food I proudly announced dinner was made and at least that was one thing he couldn't complain about today.

Tomorrow is another full on day in the shop and I hope I remember to bank and get change for the market.

Crime and Punishment

Normally I'm usually pretty confident about my parenting skills. I know I'm a loving caring mother who'll do anything to ensure my child gets the best start in life, grows up resilient enough to handle life's pressures and hopefully doesn't repeat the bad habits I have. Sometimes teaching the hard lessons is a really touch thing.

I always said I'd never smack my child. There must be other ways to teach a toddler not to do something. But earlier this year, after telling her several times to stop opening and closing the sliding door (if she closes it on her little fingers I'm sure they'll break) I ended up giving her a smack. It wasn't that hard, definitely more of a fright than actually hurting her. She cried, and I cried. It was the most awful thing.

Another mother said to me later that week when in guilt I told her of the incident that good punishments are the hardest ones to give. Or something like that.....

I don't smack very often, but occasionally when Emily is really testing me out and she's in danger of doing great harm to herself, I will resort to a smack on the bottom.

One cheeky monkey who is obsessed with opening and closing doors!

I've tried other ways, counting to three, sitting and having a stern talk, distracting her with something else. Honestly none of them are effective. She's only 20 months and she thinks counting to three is a game, won't sit for a stern talk and has a damn good memory as the distraction thing rarely works.

Today was a long day of sewing in preparation for next weeks market. Unfortunately whilst Emily is awake I can never get that much sewing done. I was almost finished a dress when she woke from her nap, so after getting her up, changing, feeding and playing with her for an hour and finally distracting her with ABC2 I thought I'd just finish the last bit of hemming and that would mean more time to sew another piece tonight.

No sooner had I begun than she wandered into my craft room and started playing with the dials on the machine (whilst I was sewing!) and then almost put her little finger under the moving needle. At least three to four times I sternly told her no. Each time she moved away, then slyly came back for more. In the end she was laughing at me. That was it! I gave her a little smack on the backside, told her "NO!" and moved her away from the machine. She looked at me with her big brown eyes, mouth quivered and then she lost it.

I felt terrible. I didn't pick her up, I didn't cuddle her, I barely looked in her direction....for about 30 seconds. Not even a minute after the punishment she came up to me, tear streaked cheeks and looking very sad. "sowwy Mummy" she whispered. I gave her a cuddle, told her I loved her and didn't want her to get hurt and she couldn't play with Mummy's machine.

Not long after she found a book and sat on the floor and flicked the pages telling me the story in her gibberish. The dress got finished and we spent the afternoon in the garden planting leeks and silverbeet and chasing the white moths that seem to have found a home amongst the tomatoes.

She wasn't damaged, she was OK. She was happy and she left the craft room alone for the rest of the afternoon. I still feel terrible that I had to punish her. Strangly I don't fee that bad about the actual smack, but i feel bad that she cried and was upset. I wish I could just let her do whatever she wants but that would be irresponsible. Why does being a mother have to be so God damn hard sometimes?!

How do you feel about smacking?

The Week That Was......

God I've been hopeless this week with my blog! Totally neglected it. Even the awesome bloggers who have more than one child and are attending the blogging awards managed to post something.

Well if you've been wondering what I've been up to, here goes.....

• Working like a crazy woman in the shop to get all the product on the shelves so Mum doesn't have to do anything but sell while I'm away

• Sewing, sewing, sewing! I'm determined to feature some of my own creations at the next Little Me Markets

• Toddler wrangling. This consists of negotiating bath, PJ's and bedtime routine with a 20 month old. She's a determined little bugger who managed to scream her head off till 9:15pm last night!
• Getting Emily checked out by the doctor because she had an epic stack in our driveway and a day later her eye was still swelling.

• Cooking dinner every night. Doesn't sound like much but we always do at least one to two take out dinners a week as we both work and it can be hard to get something cooked in time for Emily (we don't get home till about 5:45pm and by then she's starving and crazy). The reason I'm cooking every meal is because we're trying to save money for our big trip to Ireland.
• I must be totally crazy because I also committed to another market before our trip. Now I'm doing the Little Me Market on 15th April in Wodonga and the Golden Horseshoe Festival in Beechworth on 7th April.

To top everything off I have developed a lovely sinus infection. Albury-Wodonga sits in a basin and pollen hangs around for most of the year. We have gorgeous Autumn trees but when their leaves begin to fall so do these potent fury spores along with their seeds. They cause havoc with my sinuses which over-react to the pollen and I inevitably get an infection. Now the infection has spread to my lungs so I've had to start two courses of anti-biotics or else it will become full blown bronchitis and I won't be able to travel.

Speaking of travel, I can't believe we're leaving in 2 1/2 weeks! I'm excited and nervous and very stressed. Taking a toddler on a plane is a daunting task in itself, but the longest flight I've been on is 5 hours to Bali. I didn't even get jet lagged. I have no idea how I'll handle the flight let alone how Emily will handle it. Then there's my hubby who is terrified of flying and will have to be sedated the entire trip, so I'll also have very little help with Emily. I'm just praying we have nice flight attendants who will give me some tips.

Anyway, I'll try to make an effort next week to blog a bit more often. What a crazy crazy life.....but I wouldn't have it any other way!

My Very First Product Review!

OK I'm going to attempt my very first product review. I'm not being sponsored for this (but really would welcome sponsors and freebies!!) so one things for sure.....you know I'm going to be honest.

Last night was pretty cold and I thought what a perfect opportunity to try out the new Uh-oh! Sleepwear Buggy Bags. These are a lot like the traditional sleeping bag or Gro Bag but with a difference.

Firstly they have arms meaning the TOG rating just increased from 2.5 to 3.0. For those who don't know what a TOG rating is, it's the Thermal Insulance (or equivalent to how many blankets or doona's you have on) rating given to sleeping bags. So according to the TOG Rating, in a 16-20'C room Emily would only need a singlet, nappy and the 3.0 TOG Buggy Bag on to keep warm.

The second difference is that the Buggy Bag has legs. It's like a padded romper that has a two way zip (handy for nappy changes) and the feet have non-slip rubber spots so your toddler can walk safely on tiles or floor boards.

The verdict is.......We Love It!

Emily slept all the way through. She woke at 6:30am this morning needing a nappy change which was easily done without having to remove the whole bag. She then played happily in the cot for half an hour while I had a shower because she could stand up and wasn't constricted like a sleeping bag.

When I got her up I thought about changing her straight away but decided she could lie on her beanbag in front of the TV while I made breakfast. The previous couple of mornings she's needed a blanket to keep warm at that time of the morning but with the Buggy Bag it was like she already had one on.

So I've ordered another one for her in pink floral and would definitely recommend them to any Mum who wants a good nights sleep and has a baby or toddler who's able to stand or walk.

One Day at a Time

It was an absolutely huge market day and I wish I had of grabbed some photo's, but honestly it was just too busy!

It started at 5:30am with a toddler who decided it was time to get up and sang "mummy mummy mummy" for about 1/2 an hour before I finally dragged my tired ass out of bed.

After that it was go, go, go setting up my market stall and opening the shop for the annual Traders Market Day in Albury. Because we're a twin city with Albury on the NSW side and Wodonga on the VIC side, half the population got the day off with VIC Labour Day and they all came over for a family fun day at QEII Square.

All I can say is it was hugely busy, although I would have liked to be busier. I did better than this time last year but not as good as two years ago. Considering I now have new kid's clothing and shoes in the shop whereas last year there was only recycled kids clothing, I expected a much bigger days trade. But I guess with all the flooding and economy worries, a lot of people weren't spending.

Hubby picked up Emily who hardly slept today and was really grumpy so I decided we needed fish and chips for dinner as I just couldn't deal with sore feet, a grumpy toddler, a frustrated hubby and cooking tonight. But now I feel sooooo guilty that I ate all those chips. It's always when your busy and tired that you give in and go for the easy take away option. To make matters worse I'm sitting here watching The Biggest Looser and all the ads in between are weight loss program ads like Lite 'n' Easy and Weight Watchers!

Tomorrow morning I have to meet with the creative team from Aus Stereo to create my new radio ad. I've been trying to think of something creative and punchy that really gets the message about the shop across to my customers. I'm changing everything about the shop except the name and I'm trying hard to pick up those customers that never came in before because they only bought new and up-market brands. It's really hard changing the reputation of an existing business. When your a new business you have no reputation and so people naturally come in to see the new kid on the block. But when your an existing business and you already have a particular reputation, it is that much harder to convince people to come in and see what's new.

I think this week is going to be a "one day at a time" week. I literally have something major on every day and no time for rest. Here's hoping next week is a little less stressful!

The reason for everything I do......

No Rest for The Wicked

What a great weekend! I got no housework, cooking or washing done. But I did have a great time!

It started with Saturday morning coffee and a trip to the hairdressers. I was so scared because it was Emily's first haircut and I knew we'd be cutting off the last of her baby hair. Why is this such a big deal? I think after she started toilet training early and because she is so physically advanced and big for her age (at 20 months she's 15kg and 90.5cm tall), cutting off her baby hair means that she's now a little girl and I kind of want to hold onto Baby Emily for just a little longer.

My little girl is a bit of a loner most of the time. She can be shy and doesn't like strangers or big crowds. So our plan was to just sit and chat in the hairdressers and if she seemed comfortable enough we would cut her hair. It worked a treat. She even thought sitting in the big chair by herself was great fun and happily let the girl cut her hair. Then she stood in front of the mirror for ages checking out her new do.

The only thing she didn't like was getting her photo taken.

Since that went so well we went off to see my friend Mrs Doodlebug who's husband had gone away for the weekend to a music festival and she had the two boys and her 8 month old (also named Emily) at home. We decided to go for a short walk to the main street of Wodonga as the Harmony Carnivale was on and there were loads of live music, art and market stalls.

First thing Mrs Doodlebugs boys did when we got there was run off so we spent the next half hour searching for them, prams in tow. After finding the boys (I managed to sneak an Organic Olive Tapanade purchase in) and giving them a stern talking to about not scaring their Mum like that again, we sat down for coffee and scones and watched the local primary schools music group perform some singing and dancing. Emily thought it was awesome fun and even got up on her chair and did dance moves I've never seen her do before. See what happens in childcare!

We went home for her midday nap and she slept for 3 hours! Whenever she does that it means she'll be up late that night (usual bedtime is 7pm) so I suggested to hubby that we head back to the Carnivale for a curry dinner and to watch the parade. Emily had a ball and we ran into loads of friends. It was such a great family atmosphere and I definitely think we'll go back next year. Emily even had some butter chicken from the Indian curry stand.

Today was always going to be busy. One of my oldest friends is due to have a baby next week and I wanted to catch up with her before she went in for her scheduled Cesar. She has a little girl 6 months older than Emily and I thought they could have a play together.

Well they didn't exactly play, they wanted everything each other had and there was scratching, biting and a bit of slapping involved. How ironic though that because Emily used the big toilet my friends little girl had to use it too. My friend says she can never get her girl to use the toilet and it's great that she wants to copy what Emily did. On the other hand Emily has never really been very social with other kids and after the initial squabbles, my friends little girl came over and gave Emily a hug and a kiss. Emily thought that was great and reciprocated. It was so sweet!

I can see these two being great friends when they get older, just like her Mum and I were at school.

So after I put Emily down for her midday nap I headed back into town with my Dad for a fun filled afternoon of putting up new shop fittings and re-merchandising the shelves. We still have a long way to go but the beginning of the shops transformation is now underway and it's so exciting.

Showing off my new Gaia Organic Cotton range.

So tomorrow I have Market Day at QEII Square in Albury and it's going to be fine and sunny so I'm hoping for a huge day. I have a stall going and just finished packing the car withy everything I think I'll need. The shop will also be open so fingers crossed we get loads of people with kids looking for baby or children's clothing.

I'm trying to think of something special to do with Emily on Wednesday as it's our new day together. I'll be in Melbourne buying on Friday, then another market on Sunday (which I haven't even sewed anything for yet!).

So with such a busy week ahead I better go get some shut eye.

How was your weekend? 

Super Mum

Why is it that when a Mum is sick, she's still a Mum? When my hubby is sick he's just plain sick and can't even look after himself.

Yesterday he came home at 3pm with a migraine. He walked in the door and went straight to bed, much to the confusion of Emily. "Daddy nigh nigh?" she asked and then looked outside at the sun shining.

At 4am he woke and couldn't get back to sleep. He tossed and turned until I kicked him out of bed.

Today he was sent home from work with a viral infection and high blood pressure and was straight back in bed. He could have had Emily with him today as all he'd have to do is supervise, but instead he sent her to Mum and Dads so he could rest.

A couple of months ago I had a very severe case of bronchitis (something I get a lot of in Albury thanks to pollen hanging around for 9 months of the year). I couldn't call in sick to the shop, who was I going to call? Myself? So I go to work, sick as a dog apologising to customers all day for my incesant coughing. That night I pick up Emily from childcare, take her home, bath her, make her dinner and put her to bed. I crawl on to the couch for an hour or two watching SVU or NCIS until I fall asleep and hubby wakes me to get into bed.

All night I cough and splutter and just as I fall back asleep Emily wakes crying and wanting a feed. I go back to bed, coughing again and hubby complains that I'm too loud and wants me to stop coughing. I would if I could! I go back to the couch until I wake to Emily crying in the morning.

My point is, when I'm sick I suck it up, I do what I have to and get on with it. On the other hand I also take so much longer to get better. Tonight hubby is already feeling better and has let me sit on my ass and blog instead of doing dishes and cleaning the family room (after cyclone Emily was there earlier).

Sometimes I feel like telling him to "suck it up princess", then when he's feeling better I just want to hug him and kiss him because at least he tries to make up for his winging and inability to do anything.

Sometimes I think I should stop trying to be such a super Mum and let others handle it for the day, even if I don't exactly like how they do things.

Hubby and Emily playing games on the computer tonight while I cooked dinner. Obviously he's well enough for that! 

FIGJAM

My weekend was pretty uneventful.......

I weeded and harvested the vegie patch before the deluge of rain hit.

Then I made a lasagne with the herbs and a salad with the lettuce we'd picked.

Then I made some cheese and chive muffins....



Then I organised my new sewing and craft chest of drawers....

This was my fathers chest of drawers and his mothers before that. There is a stamp on the back of it stating it was made in 1923. I just love it.

Then I made a dress for Emily......

Then I made a pair of denim pants for Emily......

A bit daggy but suitable for Childcare I think

Then I made some Oat Bran Biscuits for hubby's lunches this week.....







Then I made a Silverbeet and Potato Gratin with Pork Chops for dinner.....

I really did mean to take a photo of this but.....

With all the housework, washing and ironing done I'm now sitting back tonight thinking I can achieve a lot when it's pissing down rain and you can't go out!

How was your weekend?

PS> My thoughts tonight are with the flood affected areas of NSW, VIC and ACT, especially my hometown of Urana NSW which is being air evacuated as I type this. 

All My Friends are Having Baby's.....Wah!

All my friends are having baby's..........Wah!

Miss E is 20 months tomorrow. She's been sleeping well for the last week (that means 7ish pm to 5is am) and that means I'm forgetting the hard bits of the first year and remembering how gorgeous Miss E was and how precious she was when she was just born.

It's not helping me that I own a baby and kids clothing boutique. Every day I see newborns and baby's, pregnant women and gushing first time grandmothers telling me their daughter has just fallen pregnant and they just want to have a look. It doesn't help that every day I unpack, price and display beautiful, gorgeous, exquisite baby clothing and accessories that I wish I had someone to put them in. It seriously doesn't help that my Hubby is dead against having another baby.

For as long as I can remember I wanted kids. I always thought I'd be a young Mum with three kids by the time I was thirty. I didn't get married till I was 27 and by the time I was 30 we'd already done two years of IVF and I'd suffered a miscarriage on the one time we'd managed to get pregnant. By the age of 32 my ex-husband and I had spent over $20,000 on IVF, survived two miscarriages and then he ran off with another woman. Miscarriage, grief and money problems do terrible things to a man and although I'm not excusing what he did, I no longer hold bad feelings for him.

I met my now husband a year after I separated from my ex. He was here on holidays from Ireland and the attraction was instant for both of us (although he'll say he just liked my car). He had come out of a relationship 5 years earlier and he had two kids back in Ireland that he hardly saw (fathers don't have the same rights there as they do here). It was complicated and difficult but we were so in love. He was done having kids and I thought I wasn't capable of going full term so in a way I thought a man with existing children could somehow fill a void.

We married 6 months after we met. Admittedly he never asked me to marry him, we both wouldn't have gotten married at all if we didn't have to. It was the only way to stay together and I guess that was the most important thing, we wanted to be together.

Three months after we got married I fell pregnant. It wasn't exactly planned, we just didn't take any precautions and left it up to the Gods. I remember seeing those two pink lines on the stick and I began shaking thinking this can't be true. I remember telling hubby when he got home from work and seeing both fear and excitement on his face.

I understand his fear. He has two beautiful children that he's been forced to let go of on the opposite side of the world and the fear of having another child and the relationship failing was almost too much to bare.

The pregnancy was awful to say the least. Within weeks of finding out I was pregnant the morning noon and night sickness began. I remember getting up at 3am for a boak and in the first trimester I lost 7kg.

At 32 weeks and 3 days after my baby shower I went into pre-term labour. It was one of the most scariest nights of my life. I was lucky enough to not have dilated at all and that basically kept baby in place. Lots of drugs and relaxation meant the labour stopped but I was kept in hospital until I reached 36 weeks. My blood pressure was dangerously low and i have a heart condition so I was constantly monitored. I had to beg the doctor at 34 weeks just to be allowed to have a walk around the hall of the maternity ward.

At 36 weeks I was finally allowed out of hospital and we had to move house (yes you read that right). It's a long story but basically our landlords decided to move back into their house right when we were due to have our baby. Anyway 3 days after we moved I went into labour. Off to the hospital we went on June 29th and I thought for sure this was it.

30 hours of labour later and I was only half a centimetre dilated. The fetal heart rate was dropping and she'd done her meconium and was in distress. The decision was made to do and emergency C-Section.

15 Minutes later and I was on the operating table. They pulled her out of me and there was no crying, no noise and everyone all of a sudden got very busy. I was told i had a girl. They rushed her to a table nearby and I remember seeing a blur of doctors and nurses around her. I told Hubby to stay with her no matter what, don't worry about me, just don't leave her alone. He watched on as they tried to breath life into this limp blue baby.

It seemed like and eternity waiting for something. I didn't even realise I was hemorrhaging and they were trying to fix me at the same time. Finally I heard a whimper, not a good cry but she was alive and breathing. They brought her to me for a few seconds to see, she looked like she was sleeping. But she was alive and we did it. We got through the pregnancy and the birth.

I went to recovery after they put me back together, but then I was sick, kept fainting and bleeding and so it was about five hours before they took me to Newborn Care and I finally got to meet my Emily.

Looking back it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. There are tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I type this because one, I know I'll never have to go through it again, and two, because I know I never could.

Six years ago I prayed. I said "if your there God, please just one, give me just one baby and I'll never ask for another". I don't know if "God" is real but I do know that I am blessed to have my one and only little girl.

A Girl Needs Her Mummy - Even in Her 30's

Today was day two at the new Day Care centre. It is seriously amazing how much better I already feel about them looking after Miss E. OK so this morning wasn't the best drop I've ever done but at least when I picked her up this afternoon I got information I needed to help me cope with her when I got home.

Case in point..... Miss E only slept for 50 minutes today because she has a cough and it woke her up. As a result of not getting enough sleep she was grizzly and wanted lots of comforting this afternoon and because this centre had more staff than the government requires it means she actually got cuddles. In fact she was getting them when i turned up at 5pm to pick her up.

When I dropped Miss E off this morning she was distressed to say the least. She had her arms and legs wrapped firmly around me and was not letting go. I love that the girls help with things like this. I handed her over feeling guilty as hell that I was leaving her like this. I quickly escaped the center and jumped in the car. Breathing heavy and trying to hold back the tears i must have sat outside for at least a couple of minutes. The Director came running out and tapped on my window and told me not to worry, she had already calmed down and they were about to do some dancing which is one of her favourite things.

At the old centre none if this sort of thing happened. There was no information at the end of the day so you go home wondering why your child is clingy and cranky and climbing the walls. If there's a bump or bruise you have to ask, not be told or called and incident reports were always late.

My parents also returned from their holiday in NZ today. I can't believe I'm in my 30's and need them this much but I was so relieved they came home today. Miss E is spending all day with her "Mama" tomorrow and she's already excited. It's a relief for me too as I had no casual to work in the shop tomorrow and no childcare available.

Amazing also that all my anxiety over what was happening with the shop when we go to Ireland was releived by Mum offering to work there while I'm away so I don't have to pay wages (that i can't yet afford). Dad said he'd come in one night and put up the new fittings that I've had trouble getting to and i booked someone to train with me on Friday so I can have a regular Wednesday girl and not worry about Miss E being away from me 5 days a week again.

I know I'm in a blessed situation with my family support and not everyone has it like I do. So I thank the Gods, stars and higher beings for giving me this opportunity and now I just hope I can make them proud by making my business a big success.

Planes, Trains and Kids In Style

Friday morning I flew to Sydney for the Kids In Style expo. If you've never heard of it, imagine all the new and existing fashion labels, accessories, toys and loads more for kids under one roof. Retailers and industry folk go to look at what's coming up, find new and interesting products for their shops, pick up samples and order for next season.

So I thought I'd share a few pics of the trade fair so you can get an insiders view to the industry:

The entrance to Kids In Style

Skeanie and Uh-Oh! in the left corner had some amazing new styles

The board with the list of exhibitors.....totally mind boggling!

How cute are these dinasour badges for boys!

Colored jeans have made a come-back and these are sized 00. So cute!

I saw so many great products and kids clothing ranges and met some wonderful and talented designers. I've spent the last 24 hours going through the massive bag of price lists, catalogues and samples I bought home and I have to admit this has got to be the most fun part of my job. The hard part will be not buying everything and making sure what I do get fills a gap and compliments the rest of the shop.

I spent quite a lot of time talking to Natasha who owns Skeanie and Uh-Oh! It seems we have quite a bit in common having both previously worked in recruitment and both moving from Sydney to the country. We also both decided to start our own businesses once we had our first child and Natasha has done a brilliant job with hers. She's definitely someone I admire.

Anyway, best get Miss E's bag ready for her first day at the new daycare centre tomorrow. It's looking to be a huge day of pricing, hanging and new window display at the shop as well as trying to ensure Miss E transitions well to the new center. But this is the life of a Mum running her own business........

The Follow Up

Well I wish I could say today went well but I was left feeling so frustrated. You see having your own business and raising a child comes at a price. Had I had the choice I would have pulled Miss E out of daycare today but I can't just close the shop or I loose customers and I'm still trying to build my business. My husband works in health care and he was flat out all day, but managed to pick her up a bit earlier than usual.

At least I can be happy that her two usual carers were back today and she seemed to be happy when we picked up and there were no further scratches or incidents.

What I was so frustrated at was the Director of the centre calling me to explain what happened. She said she had conflicting stories from the casuals and permanent staff that were on yesterday, that it appears there were two separate incidents resulting in the injuries and that the casual looking after Miss E couldn't write well enough to fill out an incident report form on her own so she was waiting to fill it out with one of the permanent staff.

Infuriating! I lost it. And I have to say I think I did well to not swear once.

I told her that the center was her responsibility and the quality of care given at the centre fell directly on her shoulders. It was her job to ensure policies and procedures are being followed, to hire qualified staff and make sure carer to child ratios are adhered to. I told her that after five separate incidents where procedures weren't followed, ratio's weren't adhered to and my child was injured in all of these, she was clearly not doing her job properly. She muttered something about continuing her investigation and hung up.

I rang DOCS and waited on hold for 45 minutes before hanging up because I had customers. No wonder so many child abuse cases don't get reported.

I called the Head Office of the center in Sydney and was put on hold before getting a recorded message asking me to leave my name, number and center I was calling about and they would call me back.

I called my hubby who said he would go get her and see if he can take her to work for a while tomorrow and do some work from home so she didn't have to go back.

Tomorrow I go to Sydney for my first ever kids fashion trade show. I've been looking forward to it since halfway through last year. I'm so frustrated with Miss E's childcare that instead of thinking about all the things I need to do tomorrow I became consumed with the childcare issue.

How hubby makes sure our baby is being well looked after........

This is what I know. Tomorrow she'll be fine because she'll either be with her Daddy or with her usual carer and the Director is probably shitting (oops) her pants by now so they won't want to make another error like Wednesday. Next week she does orientation at her new daycare and I hope she'll love it there.

Tomorrow I'm off to Sydney and I've booked an apartment in the city with a spa and I intend to make good use of the relaxation and good nights sleep I'll get.

Tonight I better get my butt in bed..........

A Very Angry Mum!

Tonight I'm seething! I picked up Miss E from childcare today and her face was grazed, small cut above her right eye, bruising and both knees grazed. Now I know accidents happen, toddlers run and fall, but no one can actually tell me what happened ad there was no incident report for me to sign. To top it off it's clearly a head injury and regardless of how minor it is, legally they are required to call me and report it.

About two months after we put Miss E into this childcare center I began to think it wasn't the best place. I don't know why, maybe it was other Mums telling me of the problems they were having, maybe it was the center director running around like she had ADD and making all her employees nervous wrecks, maybe it was because aftyer 2 months Miss E still cried and clung to me every time i tried to drop and run.

Childcare spaces are limited in my town so I put her on a waiting list for one a block from the shop and on meeting with the director and doing a tour, one I felt immediately comfortable with.

We have had several incidents in the past 3 months with our current provider. Actually I can count them, five to be exact. In each occurrence the she had scratches, cuts, bruising or head injuries severe enough to contact me however the call wasn't made. In each case the incident report couldn't be provided at the time because the casual who was supervising the children had gone home and didn't fill it out. Each time I could seriously question the amount of supervision given because of things like Miss E was eating strawberries from the garden and no one realised till they saw the white shirt she was wearing had red juice down the front. Come on!

So this is my baby after I picked her up today. She was very grumpy and the bottle was the only way to keep her settled. It's a pretty bad photo and you can't see the grazing that well. It's not even the severity of the injury, it's the balls they have in blatantly breaking policy and the law!

Anyway, I'm happy to say we've been accepted to the new childcare center and she starts next Friday. Tomorrow morning I am definitely going to make a huge complaint to the director, and then I'm making a complaint to the Departments of Community Services. Five times in three months is way too much.

Have you ever experienced anything like this and what did you do about it?