I have been struggling to come to terms with what's been happening and I've been going insane not being able to blog because we moved house on the weekend and there is still no internet connection.
I'm taking five minutes out today to write something because I just need to get some shit out.
So we moved on the weekend. It was sad and I didn't want to do it. People keep asking how's the new place and am I happy. the answer is no, I'm not happy. I want my almost perfect life back. I had a wonderful husband and a fantastic big dreamy house with enough room that I could have my own sewing/creative room and Emily had a big back yard to play in. Now it's just me and her in a little 2 bedroom unit and I'm doing everything on my own.
Well not entirely on my own. My Uncle John drove an hour and a half from his place to help me and Dad load furniture all day Saturday. Mum looked after Emily all weekend and has been there every time I've needed a shoulder to cry on or to help me tackle the groceries with a toddler. My family has been fabulous.
It's night time that's the worst. I'm lonely, I'm bored. No internet means I can't just blog away because tackling that keyboard on the iPhone does my head in. I've sent the iPhone battery dead every night this week reading my favourite blogs and wishing I could comment on the posts.
I get random text messages from him asking about irrelevant things like what did Emily eat for dinner and why did I change our marital status on Facebook? He's stressing over the little things again and I've had to tell him to give me space.
My emotions are all over the place. I'm angry, I'm confused, I'm disappointed, I'm revealed that he's finally admitted to having a problem, I'm hopeful of a resolution and a reunion.
I'm grateful to all my wonderful friends who near and far have been a great support. One friend sent me this today and it was just so true I had to share it with you.
I think I'm definitely in the one week later stage. Lets hope I look like the girl with arms outstretched months later. I think if nothing else this picture shows how resilient women are. We can do anything and we can also be a great support to each other.